Faithful gay unions don't threaten marriage

In the early-morning hours of May 1, New York Congressman Vito Fossella was arrested in Virginia for drunk driving. Fossella, a married man with three children, was released into the custody of retired Air Force Lt. Col. Laura Fay, a woman with whom Fossella was conducting an extra-martial affair. The affair resulted in a child that’s now three years old.

But Vito Fossella and Laura Fay aren’t the biggest threats to marriage; it’s monogamous gays and lesbians. At least that’s the notion many religious conservatives are attempting to sell.

The issue of marriage rights for same-sex couples reappeared on the political radar last month when the California Supreme Court ruled the state’s ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional. It’s not surprising that religious conservatives are trying to get the decision reversed via referendum this fall; they have genuine religious convictions on the issue. What is peculiar, however, is their obsession with same-sex marriage and bizarre insinuation that monogamous gays pose a greater threat to marriage than adulterous straights.

Even if gays and lesbians are at odds with Biblical teachings, it’s difficult to argue that their relationships put heterosexual marriages at risk. The biggest threats to marriage are unfaithful spouses, abusive spouses and parents who neglect or abandon their children. To blame gays and lesbians for these wider societal problems is nothing more than ugly scapegoating.

Monogamy, which should be the core of the same-sex marriage debate, is one of Christianity’s great gifts to mankind. It’s the belief that no matter how rich or powerful an individual becomes, he or she only gets one spouse. It’s a form of sexual egalitarianism that has delivered predominantly Christian societies unprecedented stability and happiness. Surveys show that married people in durable, long-term and monogamous relationships are more content than society as a whole, and there is no reason this beneficial arrangement shouldn’t include gays and lesbians.

Marriage is strengthened, not weakened, by including people who accept the worthy idea of faithful, lifetime relationships. The belief that a committed, loving same-sex couple can somehow undermine a committed, loving opposite-sex couple doesn’t pass the test of logic. Vito Fossella is a threat to marriage. Those seeking what Vito Fossella threw away -- gay or straight -- are not.

Editorial post in the tomah journal