Parenting - it's a communication basket

Parenting is a 'basket' which communicates love, forgiveness, disappointment, pain, happiness and all the other emotions.

For me, there are many issues that parents face every day, the two most challenging being finances and sharing time.

Family meetings, therefore, are one of the fruits in the communication basket. These sessions facilitate discussion on what happened during the day, even for 10 minutes or at least twice in the week and twice on the weekends.

Then, as the saying goes, 'The family that prays together stays together.' Worship is a fruit in the basket. Even if the family is not able to attend church every Saturday or Sunday, worship at home is vital. A knowledge of God, as well as regular prayer, is critical to a child's upbringing.

Use proverbs

Children need to know they are appreciated in the home - that they are not mistakes. Love and appreciation are other fruits in the basket. Love has to be communicated with sincerity. As a single mom, I show love even when I am scolding my son and daughter. I use proverbs instead of negative words or words to belittle them. I also apologise when I am wrong or if I shouted when I could simply discuss the matter. So forgiveness is another fruit in the communication basket.

At times when I am too tired or moody to talk about how much they mean to me, I write them individual letters and express how I feel. Don't say bitter things about the other parent if he or she is not in your life anymore. Children don't like that. Instead, explain, clearly and lovingly, why the relationship did not work out.

In that basket of parenting, respect for humanity allows the child or children to understand the importance of life so they learn to love their friends and classmates as themselves. Each life is a gift. Food must be in that basket. A family must find the time to eat together, at least once per week, where memories and stories are discussed at the table.

Parenting is a job, a lifelong one. I ask questions consistently, especially of older people. I listen to others, including my children, because they, too, have a say. Then, of course, I read books and observe people's behaviour patterns.

Try to have fun while doing this life-long job and remember we as adults were children too. Never lose the child within you.

Donna Harriott is single parent to a 14-year-old boy and a young woman now in college. This mom is also a high-school teacher and an artist.

Posted in Jamaica - Gleaner
Donna Harriot, Contributor